Switcheroo
by sidhepuella
Summary: I asked one question while I was writing this: What would happen if an ordinary girl switched bodies with Integra? (Is constantly updated in one way or another to make it stronger, faster, better.)
1. Prologue: Me and How I Came to be Here

**Author's note:**  I must start by saying the obligatory disclaimers;  I do not own Hellsing in any way, shape, or form.  I am writing this for entertainment and nonprofit purposes.  I do own myself, since the non-Hellsing character in this story is, in fact, me_, _and this whole story is based on a messed up dream that I had.  Since I am in the story, I will say right now that I did not idealize my looks, personality, or intelligence in any way. There will be no "Mary Sues" in this story.   I am also including other people I know.  So if you don't like this kind of story, remember,****it was a dream**, **people; don't read it.  I will state that I accept constructive criticism, which is greatly appreciated.

**Additional Note:** The song lyrics listed in this belong to Evanescence.  This is not a song fic.  I was, in fact, singing this to myself when I fell asleep the night I dreamed this.

                                                            Switcheroo

                                    Prologue:  Me and How I Came to be Here

            I was nodding off at the computer... again.  _I really need to stop staying up until 3 AM._  Listening to the Beastie Boys "Sabotage" on a shuffled loop was beginning to give me a headache.

            "Of course, that could be the sleep deprivation too," I mumbled to myself.  "I really should go to bed..."

            I heard every little sound as though it were being filtered through a speaker; everything was too loud.  _I wonder why everything sounds so noisy tonight.  It must be the sleep deprivation and insomnia kicking in.  Great...  Now I'm being repetitive even in my own thoughts._

            Upon making that statement, my father decided to get up from bed and start thumping down the stairs.

            "Why are you still up?" he asked moodily.  

            _Yeah.  We won't even address why you're up._

            "You should go to bed at a more regular time like everyone else," Dad continued.  "If you don't get enough sleep, you'll never get anywhere.  All you need to worry about is going to college and getting a degree.  You need to quit all this other crap."  He was giving me The Look.

            I rolled my eyes to myself.  The same speech over and over again.  Why couldn't he say something different for once?  

            _Like he's one to talk.  He got a GED, not a diploma.  And all because of some stupid high school teacher.  Its like he took her failing him as an excuse to quit school.  And he says I shouldn't have a job while in school.  Of course, he was the one who worked for the Red Cross while he went through college._

            But I just nodded and said, "Yeah, I was going to bed anyway." _ God.  Why does he DO this?  He knows that I don't have school tomorrow._

            "Not going to sleep at a reasonable hour is probably the reason you're sick all the time," Dad said.

            _Yeah.  _Everyone _goes to bed at 10 PM.  Sure.  How about I lay in bed for hours on end doing nothing while I'm at it._

            Sighing, I picked up my always-present Discman, CDs, as well as the rough draft of the story I was writing, and climbed the stairs to the top floor.

            Turning left and quickly stepping over the large white rainbow-spotted elephant toy-chest blocking my bedroom door I set my stuff down near my desk.

             The toy-chest looked like something that someone on acid would hallucinate.  Glancing at my elephant and wondering for the umpteenth time why I had put the thing there so I could conveniently trip over it always yielded the same answer: so the dog couldn't come in and either try to get in bed with me and pull the sheets off the bed, or accidentally go to the bathroom on the rug at five in the morning.  

            I went about my business of getting my books together for school on Tuesday, even though it was Sunday (_Or Monday morning, depending on how you looked at it._) and I didn't have to go to school.  Since I am an  astounding procrastinator, I needed to get this out of the way.

_            I really should get off my ass and do something with myself.  I can't just sit around and play games, draw, or listening to music.  And not sleeping regular hours doesn't help me either._

            After listening to a compilation of both of Rob Zombie's albums, I decided that I was actually tired enough to sleep.  I took off my ring. Putting my glasses carefully into their case, and set my alarm so I could promptly wake up at eleven in the morning to turn off the alarm and go back to sleep.

            When it became immediately apparent that I would not be able to get to sleep, I began to stare at the poster-laden walls, which I had changed from a variety of different pictures to anime; my favorite ones being my two Tenchi Muyo! wall scrolls and my Hellsing wall scroll.  

            My eyes, having adjusted, looked at the Hellsing scroll, I just let my mind wander. 

            I thought of many things, like, _Maybe I should actually write down all the key points I want to go over during the next session of my Vampire game_, or _Why can't my parents set aside some money to get the house fixed so I can paint my walls sky blue with fluffy clouds?_  I started singing to myself, first one song, then another and so on until I got to "Bring Me To Life."

_                        "Wake me up inside/_

_                        "Wake me up inside/_

_                        "Call my name and save me from the dark.//_

_                        "Bid my blood to run/_

_                        "Before I come undone/_

_                        "Save me from the nothing I've become.//_

_                        "Bring me to life/_

_                        "Bring me to life.//_

_                        "Frozen inside without your touch,/_

_                        "Without your love,/_

_                        "Darling, only you..../"_

            As I was humming the next verse, oblivion asserted itself and claimed my consciousness.  My last thought before I succumbed completely was, _This would _so_ work as an AMV for Hellsing..._


	2. Order 1: Realization

                                                Order 1: Realization

            I awoke to find myself in a strange bed.  

            _OK, this is just a little bit weird._  I did not wake up to the usual sight of my white-painted ceiling yellowed with age, nor the posters and wall scrolls decorating the walls.  Instead, I saw a... "Canopy?!?" I almost screeched.  "Now I'm really confused..."  I got up while still looking in the same direction.

            The large room was obviously the master bedroom.  It was spacious, with cherry furniture that matched (_Wow.  Furniture that actually _matches_.  What an amazing thing.), a desk with a small computer, clock, and various desk-type things, a wardrobe, a huge bed with nice imported Egyptian linens, and a table with a couple of matching chairs - which had a tray with warm tea, sugar, lemon, and cream._

            "Well. I am thirsty," I said aloud, to no one in particular.  I walked over to the table and helped myself to the tea and sugar laid out for my consumption.  

            After putting three spoonfuls of sugar in the cup and stirring thoroughly, I walked out of the bedroom to explore.  The door opened easily to my touch.  Since the door responded the way a door normally should, I didn't think that anyone had kidnapped me, not that anyone would want to kidnap such a mundane person as myself.  As I explored the hallways, I realized that this was a castle, or, at least, it looked as if it used to be.  But it had obviously been converted into a more conventional mansion.  I looked at the nearest painting, admiring the skill involved in its making.  _Odd, my glasses feel lighter than usual today..._

            After taking many right and almost as many left turns, I found that I had gotten thoroughly lost.  By this time, I had finished my tea and was stuck carrying the empty cup  around until I could find the kitchen.  Because the hallways were sparse, looking at the few oil paintings on the wall became just a little boring.  I rubbed absently at my shoulder, my clothing seemed a little more restricting today...

            "Something wrong, Master?" said a voice, dripping with sarcasm.  "Have you lost your way?"

            I froze.  _Ok, now I _know_ someone is playing a joke on me, I thought to myself.  __A really cruel, sick joke.  I slowly turned around, half expecting to see a small Japanese man.  What I found was totally different.  Instead, there was a tall man with his charcoal black hair falling into his eyes, wearing a trench coat, and huge hat - all the color of fresh blood -  as well as a pair of what looked to be protective glasses covering his eyes.  He was leaning against the stone wall with the most annoying smirk playing on his lips, his head tilted to the side in an oddly birdlike position._

            "Um," I said, uncertainly, not hearing him approach, "You aren't a small Japanese man, are you."

            He looked down his nose at me from over his glasses, removing a barrier between us, and I saw his eyes... his red eyes.  His smirk grew into a full fledged grin, showing white pointy teeth.

            "No," he replied, "I am not."  He seemed amused.

            "Can you tell me where the kitchen is?  I got lost while exploring the place and I need to take this cup down there so it can be washed."

            He just stood there, watching me, as if he were sizing me up.

            "This is your headquarters, Master, I should not have to tell you."  His voice was barely suppressing the laughter I was expecting.  "I did not know that you had a sense of humor."

            I looked at him, irritated, and raised my eyebrow.  "Well, whoever is paying you to play this joke on me has too much time and money on his hands," I told him, "because this isn't funny."

            Actually, I was more than a little irritated.  Who was this asshole, anyway?  Did he enjoy messing with people this badly?  _I mean, I realize that I've had "Hellsing" on the brain lately, just barely crossing the line into obsession, but this is ridiculous!  He wants to play, does he?  Well, I'll play._

I hadn't realized that my free hand was clenched into a fist.  I smiled to myself and quickly walked up to this - man - who was trying to get on my last nerve.

            "So," I said, dangerously, "you think you're Alucard, hmm?"  I was within a hairsbreadth of his nose.  _Odd that I can't feel him breathing while I'm this close to him..._

            "Well, I must say that you did a remarkably good job on the costume, buddy, but you can cut this shit out already.  I am not amused."

            "Alucard" removed his glasses and peered at me.  "My, you're acting strangely, ever since you fainted from lack of sleep."  

            He leaned forward and whispered into my ear, "Even so, I noticed that you are acting as though you were another person - as though you were taking my question into consideration..."

            I sighed, fed up with the games and grabbed him by his chin, glaring at his too smug expression.  "The fun is over, do you hear me?  I was perfectly willing to go along with this whole thing, but enough is enough!  If you won't help me out by doing something so simple as point me in the right direction, then I'll have an easier time finding my own way!" I practically shouted at him, pushing him away with all of my strength with a low "Humph."

            I started to walk the same direction I was heading before I was interrupted.  I didn't get more than ten paces before I was grabbed roughly by the shoulder and shoved into the nearby wall.  I let out a small gasp as the air was forced out of my lungs from the impact, stunning me.

            "Well," said "Alucard," I don't think I've ever been handled like that by you."  He was so close now that the air that his speaking produced tickled my throat, his lips almost touching mine.  His arms were to either side of me and his body was less than half a foot away, effectively blocking all routes of escape.

            "There is something _very different about you," he breathed into my ear.  "Maybe I should guess what it is, hmm?"  __:Or perhaps I should just see for myself, Sir__ Integra...:_

            I could feel my eyes widening.

            "What?!?!" I yelled at him.  "How would you be able to find out unless I told you?  Are you crazy?  You are taking this role waaay too seriously!  Its not like you can read my mind or anything!"

            This was getting creepy.  I can say that, up until now, this was the closest to being scared I have ever been since I was ten years old.

            I looked past the crazy man pinning me to the wall and yelled out to the empty air, "Ok, Aaron and Mike!  Amir!  Adam!  This is going too far!  You didn't have to hire someone to harass me into getting over this "obsession" you all think I have!  Guys!  Come out now!"  Even to my own ears, my voice sounded desperate.

            His lips practically caressed my ears as he whispered, "No one hired me.  I don't need money to kill FREAKs."  He got closer, which I thought was impossible, almost covering me.  "I don't even need this pitiful excuse of a seal," he whispered, teasingly.  One arm lifted to hold my shoulder against the wall.  I could feel the strength in the deceptively lanky form.

            Now, normally, I am not a violent person.   I don't normally get so easily riled up.  I am usually too oblivious to notice, laugh it off when I do notice, or bluntly tell the person they're a moron and walk off.

            That was the last straw.  He was already too close to me for comfort, and the fact that he was getting closer shook me out of my surprise.  I lifted my right arm as high as I could under the circumstances and backhanded him as hard as was possible, with as much of my weight as I was able to put behind it.

            Desperation probably helped in this instance, because the blow seemed to take him aback.  There was some blood on his face from where I had hit him.  As I looked, he smiled and licked the blood from his cheek with a tongue that would put Gene Simmons' to shame.  "Ah.  You still taste like Integra, but you are obviously not."  At this, he backed away, giving me an opportunity to catch my breath and calm down.  My hand hurt, but I ignored it.

            "Of course I'm not Integra."  I peered at him as though he were crazy, my eyebrow raised.

            "She is a fictitious character made up by an overly imaginative Japanese man," I explained to him as I would an exceptionally intelligence-challenged child.

            "Do I look like I have blond hair, tanned skin, and a suit?"

            He just looked at me.  The emotion that was first on his face passed so quickly, if I had blinked, I wouldn't have noticed.  Was it confusion?  I couldn't tell.  Then the familiar,  smug and lop-sided smirk masked his features.  "Do you really want me to answer that, master?"  He said that last with enough sarcasm that, if this had been the anime, it would mean that I was in trouble.

            _OK, calm down.  Obviously, you need to explain to him who you are and how he can't make me believe he's Alucard.  _Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.  

            "Ok, now.  I happen to like anime.  I've seen "Hellsing."  Sure, I've been a little - preoccupied with it, but that doesn't mean that someone had to go to such lengths to play a practical joke on me.  Granted, my friends just tease me about being Milly or Mihoshi, and lately, Aaron had been calling me Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing, but it's all in fun."  I stopped to take a breath.  "There are also no such creatures as vampires.  I don't feel I need to elaborate on that statement," I finished, closing my eyes.  I was tired of this farce.  I wanted to go home.

            And then I heard a soft humphing, which went from chuckling to outright laughter.  And he was doing it!  I felt my face flush in embarrassment and annoyance.

            "What is so damned funny?" I asked impatiently.

            "You are," he said between guffaws.

            I sighed and shook my head.  It was hopeless.  I pushed myself from the wall.           "Well, this was fun, but I'm going to try to find the kitchen and drop off this cup, then I'm leaving and going home."

            As I started to walk, he asked me quietly, "Didn't you want to know why you are here?"

            That stopped me.  I slowly turned and waited.

            The smirk was gone.  He just stood there, watching me for a moment, as though he was looking for something.  I just glared at him.

            After a minute or two of this silent exchange, the corner of his mouth quirked, as if he found what he was searching for and was satisfied with the result.

            "I am, in fact," he said slowly, "a vampire."

            I stared at him, disbelieving.  _Really, now?  And how were you going to prove this to me in such a way that cannot be explained by trickery?_ I thought to myself.  But I said none of this to him.  "And why should I believe," I laughed nervously, "that you are anything other than deranged?"

            At this, his eyes lit up, as if he was immensely amused.  He grinned from ear to ear.  "Because,"  he said with a tinge of excitement, "I have left nothing but the spattering remains of my enemies from doing nothing but this-"

            And he went from an ordinary, if crazy, man to an amorphous void with vaguely dog-like creatures sprouting from him.  Some were where his arms used to be while others were coming from his back and shoulders.  To make it worse, there were crimson red eyes everywhere on his "body."  The only part of him left that could even be considered human was his head.

            "Is this something that will show you what I truly am?" he asked me.  "You would have tried to explain just about everything else as some sort of illusion."  And with that, he disappeared and reappeared just as quickly behind me, "normal" once again.

            "Look at your hand, and you will see that nothing is as it seems."

            Not knowing what to do anymore, I numbly looked at my hand, which now that I was looking at it, hurt.  And I saw something I had not been expecting to see: blood and the shattered remains of my teacup, which had shattered when I was shoved up against the wall before.  I must have clenched my hands into fists without realizing I had sharp pieces of porcelain cutting into my hand.  _It must've been all the stuff I was going through at once.  I didn't realize..._

            But that was not the most astounding thing.  I was wearing gloves.  I never wear gloves.  While gazing at my bleeding hand, I noticed that I had a long, olive green sleeve.  _A suit???  I looked at the rest of my clothing to see what I thought I was seeing, hoping to God that it was  a hallucination.  Unfortunately, it wasn't.  I was wearing a suit.  "I need __any kind of reflective surface.  I won't believe it until I see it with my eyes."_

            He reached into nothing and brought out a small mirror.

            I slowly raised the mirror to my face, dreading what I would see reflected there.

            "God," I whispered to myself.  _Pleeeease don't let this be true._

            The image was that of Integra Hellsing. 

            "Oh, but it is," he... no, _Alucard_, said.  "Whoever you are, you are in my master's body now."


	3. Order 2: Hellsing

                                                            Order 2: Hellsing

            "Well," I said.  I was not laughing.  "I'll say right now that I do not appreciate you rummaging around in my head like a bag lady in a dumpster."  Sure, Alucard is entertaining and all, but not when I was the subject of his attentions.  _Huh.  Poking around in someone else's head is just plain rude._

            He looked at me blankly for a few seconds.  Then, his patent smirk was plastering his face yet again.  "My master didn't exactly tell me not** to."**

            "I am not your master," I retorted.

            I could feel my face scrunching into a scowl.  _I need to get away from him so I can change my mood for the better._

            I moved to a nearby window to get my bearings in the large mansion as much as to distract myself from his almost tangible presence.

            "This is the third floor?" I asked the empty air around me.  "Do you think that you could be serious for long enough to tell me where the nearest stairwell is?"

            "I could," he replied, "but that would defeat the purpose of amusing me."

            "You know, you can kiss my-" I started, turning.  But what I saw stopped my half formed sentence.

            Alucard, his glasses and hat gone, stood there smiling at me, arms crossed over his chest.  The stupid bastard was leering at me!  Scoping me out like one of those clichéd intoxicated guys from a bar who was trying to get in my pants.

            _Wait a minute, I thought to myself.  _I'm not usually like this.  Am I doing this because he's just that damn good at messing with people, or because I unconsciously _think_ I should be acting this way?__

            I smiled, eyes closed with my face toward the floor, at my out of character behavior.

            "I really shouldn't have gotten an attitude with you.  I don't even know you."

            He laughed.

            "It isn't as if I haven't been yelled at before," Alucard responded.  He shrugged, as if it made no difference to him.

            "Your supposed apathy astounds me, Alucard," I retorted, shaking my head.

            "And I like it when you yell at me," I heard him say.

            I looked up quickly.  _Why the hell does he keep doing that?  Doesn't he know that its getting tired?_

            "Hmm..."  I smiled to myself.  I glanced out the window again.  This was a quaint joke, indeed.

            "What was it I used to say to my friends about you, Alucard?" I asked no one in particular.  "Oh, yes.  'Your antics amuse me.'  Yes, that is what I answer my friends whenever they ask me why I like "Hellsing" so much.  That, and the blood, gore, and violence."  I paused, laughing humorlessly.  "One can never have enough violence in a movie."

            "Sir Integra didn't always approve of my 'antics' as you call them," he told me.  His face was devoid of the trademark smirk.  This time his grin was genuine.  Instead of plastering itself across his face, it grew into a full-fanged smile that traveled to and lit up his eyes.  "I had no idea I was viewed as entertainment."  He paused.  "And you like violence?"  His grin turned feral.

            I just raised my eyebrow at him.  "I'm the same chick that eats while watching open heart surgery and third degree burn victims on The Learning Channel.  Some burn victims look like rotisserie-cooked Barbie dolls; melted plastic.  Especially when they scrape off the skin."  I grinned, imitating him.

            "I just thought of something," I said, changing the subject.  "Could you unbutton your suit jacket?  I wanna see something."  _I wonder if he'll actually go with me on this._

            I seemed to have caught him off guard because he lost all semblance of superiority at that moment.  The smirk was replaced by a look of utter disbelief.  Then an expression of mischievousness accompanied by an unidentifiable emotion covered his features.

            He complied, drawing back his overcoat and unbuttoning his suit jacket slowly, as if he knew I was impatient.

            _I am impatient, aren't I? I thought to myself.  __I would never admit it to anyone, but Alucard is ... sexy.  There's something about a dangerous man that interests me._

            Alucard's grin grew wider.  _:I had no idea that anyone thought of me that way,: he said in my mind, as if he were caressing the thought.  _

            I shivered at the unaccustomed contact.  _I don't know whether to be repulsed or turned on._

            "You have no idea, do you?" he said aloud.

            "What was it we discussed about perusing others' thoughts?" I asked him, annoyed and a little embarrassed.  _He had to read my thoughts right then__?  Jesus._

            I peered at him critically.  He finally finished unbuttoning his jacket showing his neatly pressed white-collar shirt and cravat-style red tie.  I didn't expect to see more than was there.   _I guess I was _expecting something more.__

            "Happy now?" he asked me.  "I don't think that my Master would have made such a... _forward_ request of me."  He had that smirk on his face again.

            "You know something, Alucard?" I asked him mischievously.  I narrowed my eyes and motioned him to come closer.  He smiled and leaned down a little.

            "_Closer," I said._

            He bent down so that he had his ear near my mouth, so close that I could've nipped it if I were so inclined.

            "That's a damn sexy cummerbund," I whispered, barely able to hold my laughter in check.

            He looked totally confused for a moment.  "I am not wearing-" Alucard started, but was interrupted by another voice.

            "Sir Integra, there has been a report of a vampire in the area," Walter said.  "I think that it needs your attention immediately."

            "Sure, Walter.  Lead on."

            Walter gave me a slightly confused look.  "This way, Sir."

            I followed the elderly butler down the hall leaving Alucard to stew over the fact that I got the better of him.  _Hopefully, Walter can lead me to my "office" so I can possibly tell him in private.  Assuming that Alucard isn't there.  Or following me._

            I had taken no more than five paces before I heard it again.  _:You will be most interesting to watch,: Alucard said in my mind, laughing.  __:You play amusing games.:_

            On hearing him in my mind yet again, I abruptly turned to retort to find that he had disappeared.

            I turned back to Walter, who had stopped to wait, and smiled.  "Pfff.  We should get going to the office."  I was eager to get to Integra's office and let him in on it.  _I don't want to lie to Walter.  He might decide to kick my ass or something._

            I walked behind Walter, still debating how to tell him.  How could I do this and not have this turn into a disaster?

            "Sir, are you all right?"

            "What?" I asked, startled.  _There I go, not paying attention again.  Now I'm doing it in this _body, too.__

            "I said, are you all right, Sir?"  Walter asked me again, worry creasing his brow.

            "Yeah, I'm all right," I replied, nervous.  "I just need to get to the office so you can inform me of the situation."  _I also need you to hurry the hell up so I can tell you what you need to know,_ I thought in irritation.  "Can we get going?"

            His eyes narrowed at me for a moment, obviously suspecting something.  _Probably from the way that 'Integra' is acting._  After a moment he resumed walking.

            We walked in silence until he showed me to 'my' office.  It was much nicer than anything I'd imagined.  I stopped in the doorway, astonished.  The amount of money put into the wood and styling of the room must have been exorbitant, including the black and white checkered marble flooring.  A huge polished oak desk at the far end of the office had a large straight-backed chair and two smaller seats for guests.  Otherwise, the room was bare of furniture, except for the painting of Sir Hellsing's father over the mantle of the fireplace.  _Integra's office is bigger than my parents' bedroom!  And their room takes up roughly a third of the second floor of the house!_

            I shook my head a bit to get myself under control.  I stepped into the room at Walter's inquiring look. _I suppose I _am_ acting weird to him, I thought to myself.  __Integra doesn't usually gape, especially at her office, a room that she has been working out of for the past decade.  A laptop computer sat off to one side of the desk with two trays of papers waiting to be looked at and sent to the appropriate place upon approaching the almost too large desk.  There were also a few stray pens, a notepad, and a letter opener._

            I sat in the high-backed chair behind the desk with my legs dangling over the left arm.  "This isn't a very comfortable chair, Walter," I said.

            Walter gave me an incredulous look.  "The vampire in question seems to be the owner of a disreputable 'rave.'  Most of the customers are underage school children, ranging from fourteen to nineteen years of age.  All are consuming vast quantities of illegal drugs and alcohol."  He paused for a moment.  "This would normally be reserved for the police, but I think that this video clip makes this a Hellsing matter."

At this, he pulled a CD out of his pocket and handed it to me.  I sat upright in my chair and took the proffered disc.  Inserting it into the CD-ROM drive, I brought up the player on the laptop.  The grayish skin and vacant eyes of ghouls stuck out in the throbbing and gyrating masses of high teenagers as it was played back to me.

            "Have there been any missing children reports since this sighting?" I asked, trying to at least pass as Integra until I get this whole situation sorted out.  

            Walter shook his head.  "Not as yet, which would lead me to believe that the ghouls in question were recently created.  It would lead me to believe, also, that this vampire hasn't been a member of the undead for very long."

            "It could be that they are creating ghouls from feeding, " I said to no one in particular.

            "I have the files you will need on your desk."

            I nodded.  "I'll look through them and see what I can figure out," I said opening the manila folder.

            "Are you feeling all right, Sir Integra?  I was hesitant to wake you up so soon after your collapse.  Would you like some tea?" Walter asked me worriedly.

            "That would be nice, Walter," I replied, rubbing the bridge of my nose absently.

            Bowing slightly, Walter turned to leave.

            Changing my mind before he got more than a few steps, "Walter, can you stay for a moment?"  I was dreading this.  How would he react?

            "Yes, Sir?"

            I sat up in the straight-backed chair, nervously picking at the suit I was wearing.  "Well, I'm not sure how to tell you, mostly because I'm not sure of it myself."  I looked up at Walter over the rim of my glasses.  Walter was standing, waiting for me to continue.

            Taking a deep breath, I continued.  "When I woke up, I was not in my own bed, I was in Sir Integra's."  _Please, God, let him understand._

            There was an almost tangible stillness to the room.

            "I am sorry, Sir Integra, I don't think I understood you."

            _God, this is hard._  "I am not Integra.  This is not my body," I told him, hoping he would understand, _praying_ that he wouldn't think that the workload had driven 'me' over the edge. 

            I was met with nothing but silence.  _I take it that this is a good sign.  "I am in a world that only exists in a Japanese man's mind.  At least, it didn't exist until I was unceremoniously sucked into it through my dreams."  I continued, going faster in the hopes that he wouldn't interrupt me.  "I am just a girl from America.  I don't have the same skills as your employer and I definitely don't have the experience she does.  I don't have blonde hair, blue eyes and a habit of smoking expensive, imported cigars.  I'm not a rich noble who has her own personal army at her beck and call for the disposal of FREAKs.  I don't have a butler who has been killing the undead for most of his life with monofilaments.  And I don't have my own personal pet vampire, no matter how cool many people that I know would think that would be."  Blurting everything I knew, I hoped it would lessen the blow that I instinctively knew was coming.  I didn't look at him.  I couldn't look at him.  __There, I said it.  I got the whole thing out.  I was up front.  Now I just have to see how he would react to it._

            I heard shoes scuffing the floor.  I looked up and saw that Walter had moved out of the shadows enough that I could see the look on his face.  It was unreadable.  He had his hands clasped behind his back, and was peering at me.

            I tensed.  What was he going to do?  Walter may be old, but he was by no means frail or slow.  But his expression was no longer unreadable.  He looked down at the floor, his mouth curving into a half smile.  "Well, miss, what should I call you?"

            That was not the response I was expecting.  I sat bolt upright in my chair.  My mouth was opening and closing with nothing coming out of its confines but air.  _I have the distinct feeling that I look like a beached fish._  "I- I-" I finally managed to get out.

            "Judging by the expression on your face, it could just be that you really are not Sir Integra," Walter said.  He was smiling now.

            I realized with a start that I didn't answer his question.  "My name is Aislinn Elisabeth."

            "'Devoted vision to God,'" Walter said absently.  "I am terribly sorry that you were thrown into this situation with no knowledge of what is at stake, but I am not sure if it is such a good idea for you to remain in thick of things."

            "I might not be Integra, but I think that I should try to at least play the part," I responded.  "I don't think that it would be a good idea for the organization to show any weakness.  If the nameless people behind the FREAKs get wind of this, there's no telling what may happen.  Not to mention real vampires and the Iscariot Organization."  My nose crinkled at the mention of Iscariot.   "Maxwell is such a pretentious ass."

            "That may be, but I do not see how you are going to make any decisions on the proper conduct of the Knights."  Walter seemed a little unbelieving.

            "What?  All I have to do is look imposing and act like I know what I'm doing.  You can help me with all the important stuff.  If I have to meet with the Round Table, I'll just need to be let in on all the gritty details."  I gave him my most wide-eyed 'I can be helpful' look.  _That look probably won't work in Integra's body, but it's worth a shot._

            It must have worked, because Walter almost immediately deflated.  "Very well.  Should I still get you some tea?" Walter asked, changing the subject.  "You might need it, since Sir Integra was not sleeping or eating well of late."

            "Yeah.  I could use something to drink.  How do you think that Ceres would react?"  I asked.

            "She might not act as badly as some would like to believe."  And with that, Walter left the room.

            Sighing, I leaned back in the chair.  _I have the sinking feeling that I'm gonna be here for a while__…_


	4. Order 3: Maryland

                                    Order 3: Maryland

            Integra awoke to white walls.  _White walls? she wondered.  _I usually don't see the ceiling when I wake up...__

            She couldn't see anything at all.  It was too dark and she needed her glasses.  She reached without looking to grasp her glasses from the same place she always left them- but they weren't there.

            "The bloody hell are my glasses," Integra mumbled to herself irritably.  It was then she realized there wasn't even a table where there usually was one.  None of the furniture was in the right place!  _This isn't my furniture,_ she thought, worried.  _This isn't even my room!_

            She shot up from the small, twin-sized bed, which was covered, in stuffed animals.  She saw what looked to be a desk to the left of the foot of the bed.  _Is that a desk?  It's buried under a layer of junk.  But that seems to be the only place for anyone to put them._

            Integra sat up on the edge of the bed and peered at the closest end of the desk.  On the corner nearest to her, she saw a black glasses case.

            _I just hope that there are actually glasses in here, she thought to herself, picking up and opening the case.  Upon doing so, Integra found a pair of glasses... that weren't hers._

            "What is going on here?" she demanded of the empty room.  "Is this some kind of sick joke, Alucard?"

            All she received in the way of a reply was silence.

            "Do not toy with me, vampire, if you value what little freedom I've given you."  She knew it was an empty threat.  No matter how much she wanted to deny it, the Royal Order of Religious Knights needed Alucard.  Sometimes the only way to deal with a FREAK was to send an abomination.

            Nothing.

            Sighing, Integra put on the glasses.  _These are better than not seeing at all, she thought with some bitterness._

            Upon donning the glasses, her vision immediately came into focus.  She gazed in minor fascination at what were obviously not her own quarters.  The white plaster walls seemed a trifle yellowed with age, with water spots on the wall and ceiling over the one window.  The window was small with long vertical blinds closed against the sunlight.

            Directly across from her she could see a partially open closet full of clothes, with the door leading out next to and to the left of it.  Near the door, a five-drawer chest of drawers was against the left wall.  It had a lamp, large stereo, make-up case, and various knickknacks.  Alongside it was a bookcase with four shelves teeming with books, along with stuffed animals piled on the top of it.

            To the right of the closet was yet another bookcase, taller than the other, with still more books and more knickknacks on it.  A huge stuffed toy was between it and the closet.  In front of the bookcase near the desk was a tower of CDs.

            Next to the bookcase stood the desk and chair, buried beneath a layer of clutter and a small desk lamp.

            Integra reached over to turn the lamp on.  Turning the knob on top of it, the light from the bulb cast a  sort of blackness over the nearby clutter, changing white to luminescent blue and making everything seem as if it were glowing.

            Noticing that the lamp would not give her the proper amount of light, Integra flipped the knob again, casting the room into semi-darkness once more.

            _What kind of person has a light like that__? wondered Integra._

            Remembering the closed blinds behind her, she turned around and leaned over the head of the bed, reaching for the bar that would open them.

            With the sunlight streaming in, she turned and saw something that she had not acknowledged before- posters.  _Whoever resides in this room seems to be a little preoccupied with a certain topic.  All Integra could see covering the walls were posters and what looked to be scrolls, all of which had drawings from some animated show or other._

            The one that was closest to the head of the bed and the window was the one that took her completely by surprise.  It was a drawing of her, Ceres, and Alucard, Alucard taking up a good two thirds of the space.  Alucard was looking like his usual arrogant self, with his custom .454 Casull and Jackal and an IV bag.  Ceres was her usual bubbly self, depicted with her Harconnen over her shoulder.  Beneath Ceres and to the right of Alucard was a picture of Integra smoking one of her favorite cigars and with the least amount of space on the wall scroll.

            "I am going to find out how this person has a drawing of us, and done poorly at that," said Integra darkly as she got up to go about looking for a change of clothes.  For some reason she was dressed in a slightly worn T-shirt and tight-fitting black leggings.  _If I was asleep, then what am I doing in a bra still?_  

            She shook off the thought and made the couple of steps to the chest of drawers and opened the top one and found lots of clean white cotton socks.  Taking a pair, she closed that drawer and opened the next.  Underwear.  She took one of these too.  Integra repeated this for the next couple of drawers, but found only more clutter.

            Sighing heavily, she placed the garments she had found on the small bed and walked over to the closet.  Looking through the clothing, she realized that this girl, for the owner of the room was obviously a girl, had nothing in the way of acceptable attire.  All she had were clothing that Ceres would be comfortable when not on duty, denim pants and too many overlarge shirts.  _I guess denim and a shirt will have to do,_ she thought.

            Picking out a pair of black jeans and a small white T-shirt with black trim, Integra changed into the clothes.  It was then that she realized the pants had a sort of lace design in them from the hem to the knee, with little stylized holes in various places.  The shirt had a little white thing on it with little arms and legs and a huge head with nothing but black spots for eyes and a mouth. To her chagrin, the shirt was a little too formfitting for her tastes but it wasn't worth the effort to change.  Integra looked for a pair of shoes.  In front of the large bookcase next to the CDs she found a pair of white tennis shoes with a set of three stripes on either side of each shoe. 

            _What is it with this girl and stuffed animals?  she wondered while putting the shoes on, for there were stuffed animals all over the room.  _Must be from childhood.__

            When Integra was finished, she realized that there wasn't a mirror to look into to see if she looked presentable.  She shook her head.  "How pathetic."

            The doorway had an elephant-shaped thing sitting in the middle of it.  On closer inspection, she realized that it was a toy box.  Leaning over, she pulled the strange looking toy box into the room and her left elbow brushed against something.  Glancing to the side, Integra noticed a red tassel dangling from the pommel of a sword, which was hanging on the doorknob.  Returning her attention to the garish piece of furniture when what she had seen had finally sunk in.

            "A **sword**?  What kind of simpleton keeps a display sword on their doorknob?"  Her voice was loud enough to be heard throughout the house.  Turning again to the sword, she studied it.  The scabbard and hilt had black enameling with dragon twining around each part.  The pommel, hand guard, and end of the scabbard were brass.  Partially drawing the blade, Integra inspected it and found that it wasn't sharp enough for fighting. The sword had a dragon etched into one side and a phoenix on the other, both near the hilt.  It looked to be a sword of the type used in Tai chi.  _The only reasons I can see that this blade is dull is that the owner uses it for practice fighting or it's a display piece.  More than likely, it's the latter._

            Shaking her head slightly, she resumed pulling the elephant into the room to clear the doorway.  After a couple of seconds, Integra had it in front of the closet, but as soon as the doorway was clear, a large furry creature sped toward an already irritated Integra, rubbing up on her leg.

            Jumping a little at the unexpected animal at her leg, Integra peered at it.  It turned out to be a rather rambunctious chocolate Labrador Retriever.  It --no, _she-- was wagging her tail and gazing up at her with the most expressive eyes she had ever seen in a dog, waiting to be paid attention to._

            As she was leaning slightly to scratch the dog behind the ears, Integra heard voices... familiar voices.  Forgetting the dog, Integra rushed down the stairs that were just ahead and to the right of the entrance to the bedroom she was occupying.  Following the voices down the stairs, she walked into the large but cluttered living room and spied someone sitting in front of a large television set.  The images on the screen were of that irritating Paladin, Alexander Anderson.  The man in front of the set was speaking in a voice that was dripping with amusement, his timing equal with that of the dialogue.  He sounded and looked much like him, at least from this angle, which wasn't very good, considering she could only see the back of his head and enough of his face that she could see the five o'clock shadow that framed his face.  He was watching an animated show about…

            "What in the bloody Hell is going on here???"

            The person in front spun around in the office chair he was using to sit in and Integra noticed that he was not a man but a boy of about nineteen, surprise clouding his features to be quickly replaced by irritation.  But she did not give him a chance to react before she was upon him, grasping him by the collar of his T-shirt and lifting him partially out of the chair.

            "Is this some kind of sick joke?"  Integra pointed to the screen.  At this point, a cartoon version of her had shown up and ordered the insufferable priest out of her country.  "You _do realize that if you are going to attempt to hold me hostage, you will fail."_

            The boy's face darkened in anger.  His long, slim fingers quickly came up and roughly removed Integra's hands from his shirt collar.  "'Linn, what the fuck is wrong with you?" he growled.  "Why the hell are you yelling at me?  Just because Aaron calls you 'Integra' doesn't mean you have _act like her!"  He swiveled away from her and used a small black control connected by a cord to a black box, which effectively paused the images on the screen.  The box connected to the television had what looked to be a DVD case with "Guilty Gear X" written on the cover._

            "I do not know this Aaron that you speak of, nor do I wish to play into your little game.  If you do not tell me what is going on, I will be forced to notify the proper authorities."  She crossed her arms across her chest, every muscle displaying her displeasure.  _It's a good thing he took my Walther from me, he must know how I'm skilled it its use._

            "Linn, you are starting to piss me off.  Knock it off.  You are not the leader of a secret organization that eliminates vampires."  The boy's voice was getting louder and louder with every word he spat into her face.  "You are my older sister who goes to the local college, hardly does enough work to stay in school, is an anime and RPG geek, and writes fanfics.  You don't even _own_ a gun, much less know how to fire one.  You dressed up like her for Otakon this year- you even have the suit and the wig to prove it.  But you are not an Englishwoman from London!"

            She brought herself up to her full height and glared down at him.  Granted, this near insufferable child was slightly taller than her but that didn't matter.  What mattered was that he was insulting her intelligence and that was something that she would not tolerate.  "I am Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, Knight and Leader of the Royal Order of Religious Knights.  How dare you tell me tell me this rubbish!  I do not know how or why I am being held prisoner here, but it will end _now_!"

            The boy narrowed his eyes.  "You are not an anime character.  You are Aislinn Elisabeth McCormick. You live in Potomac, Maryland.  _In the United States of America._ You go to the local community college."  With every word he said, it sounded more and more like he was addressing a particularly stupid five year old.  "Do I need to make it even more obvious that you aren't Integra?  If you are so stuck in trying to get the act down that you've come to think you _are her, why don't you go look in the mirror and find out for yourself."_

            Without another word, Integra stalked out of the room and into the small bathroom in the nearby hall.  Switching the light on and looking into the mirror, the leader of the Hellsing Organization got a tremendous shock.

            The person staring back at her... wasn't her.

***          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          ***

Hey, all.  I have to apologize for not updating sooner, but I was _extremely sick over the past couple of months.  I'm also taking this opportunity to give credit where its due to certain people.  If this chapter seems a bit slow, hey, it's character development, people. ^_^  Hopefully, I can put elements from both the anime __and the manga and do it properly..._

**Dionitor**: Thank you for your inspiration.  You are my (physical) muse.  Just remember- it's all your fault. *grin*  You also need to stop calling me Rip.... *squirts with water bottle.*

**Tadiera**: You and your cummerbunds...

**Bored Child**:  No, I am _not_ Integra.  You and Dionitor need to stop calling me that... *wink*

And thank you, reviewers, for your support!  I'll try to write a fun story for you guys. ^_^V


	5. Order 4: Mind Games and a Bet

Order 4: Mind Games and a Bet  
  
I felt a pressure on my arms. Opening eyelids heavy with sleep, I saw red eyes, eyes everywhere. Looking again, I saw that it was only Alucard. Only Alucard??? Am I crazy?!  
"What the hell?!" I yelled, struggling to escape from the vice-like grip Alucard had on my wrists.  
"You won't get away until I say so, Master," he whispered teasingly. The vampire was above me, his body covering mine. His knee was between my legs, forcing them apart, making me extremely uncomfortable at the contact. "I couldn't let an opportunity like this pass by, could I?"  
I glared up into his smug face. "You will release me this instant!" I growled. I cannot let him know that this is scaring the crap out of me. Keep control. Stay calm.  
"You are already assuming some of my master's mannerisms." His face was at my throat, his lips lightly caressing the sensitive skin. The act sent shivers down my spine. Arching my neck, I could feel a moan about to escape. I forced it down biting my lip in the process. I hope to God that it doesn't bleed. That's just what I need: Alucard frenching me and feeding off of me at the same time.  
As soon as I finished the thought, he was lightly licking my neck up to and along my jaw. His other hand was grazing my leg, starting at the knee and working his way up my thigh. I shivered involuntarily.  
This cannot be happening! I screamed in my head. It's only a dream!  
I fought against him, harder this time, to free myself from the crazed vampire's grasp on my wrists. "Get. The fuck. Off. Me!!!" I yelled putting everything I had into it.  
He let me squirm beneath him until I eventually tired myself out. "Why would I do such a thing? Your reactions are far from boring." He was whispering in my ear again, taunting, teasing me.  
"Look me in the face and say that, you skinny bastard." I was breathing hard. How could I let him manipulate me so easily?  
He chuckled. Looking me in the eyes, he grinned. It was humorless, feral. By this time his hand was at my hip. Pulling my hip closer to himself, he murmured, "You bring me as much amusement as Integra does." :But you amuse me in a different manner.:  
I could feel my eyes widening, my nostrils flaring. I struggled against his iron grip, desperation lending me the strength I would need. I kicked and pulled. I bucked my hips to get any leverage that I could. This only succeeded in making Alucard's grin wider and my entire body started to ache from the exertion of trying to get away. Stop it! I screamed mentally. Stopitstopitstopitstopit!!!!  
Alucard laughed, his deep-throated voice echoing in the darkness. There was a menacing and sadistic quality to it that only made my stomach sink into my toes. "That won't work. You should know that my strength far surpasses yours."  
I relaxed, seemingly defeated. Just breathe, get yourself under control. What would Integra do? I put on my mask of indifference, trying to hide the fear of being trapped rising within me. "No," I replied. "It won't."  
At that moment, I leaned back into the pillows as far as my position would allow and smacked Alucard in the forehead with mine. Note to self: Don't headbutt anyone ever again, especially not a vampire.  
This was apparently not what the vampire had been expecting. Alucard moved away a little, which was more than enough for me to squirm out from under him.  
"What the hell is wrong with you?!?!?"  
Alucard was now laying on his side, gazing amusedly at me. He smiled, one of his fangs overlapping his lower lip. "The real question is 'What's wrong with you?' I was just following the direction your dreams were heading."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
I awoke with a start. I could feel the cold sweat covering me, causing my pajamas to stick to me. 'What's wrong with me?' I thought to myself, worriedly. 'I was just following the direction your dreams were heading?!?' What in God's name was he babbling on about? If he was talking about sex, then he's got serious issues.  
Shaking from the nightmare, I got up from the four-poster bed and went to the table where I had left a glass of water the evening before. Laying the palm of my hand on the table for balance, I picked up the glass of water and started to drink from it. I was shaking so badly that the water was hitting me in the nose.  
I was still gulping the water like a dehydrated dog when I heard a deep, amused voice coming from the darkness. "Couldn't sleep, master?"  
I spit out the contents of my mouth all over the table in surprise. Damn him.  
Coughing from the little bit of water that had trickled down my windpipe, I turned toward the voice. "You know very well that I couldn't sleep," I told him, annoyed and my voice a little raspy from the water going down the wrong way. "What the hell were you thinking? You just met me and you feel like you know me well enough to pull that kind of crap? For a person who's over five hundred years old, you sure don't act much like an adult."  
Alucard stepped into the moonlight streaming through the windows. As usual, he had that near-maddening smirk playing on his lips.  
"Don't you have something better to do? Like teaching Ceres something? Like how to accept what she is?" I asked him, my eyes narrowed. "And I'm not your master... I'm starting to think that the only reason you're doing this is to see reactions on Integra's face that either-" I paused for a moment to raise my index finger, " -she wouldn't normally have, or, " I raised my middle finger, "she just wouldn't show at all."  
The deep chuckling I received in response was not unexpected. "Maybe," was the only reply.  
I looked at him, unbelieving. "'Maybe,'" I repeated. "That is all that you have to say to me?" Getting no response, I threw up my hands and 'huffed', giving in for the moment.  
"Fine," I said, still angry. "I feel I must state the obvious: I am going to change." I drank some more of the water to try and calm my nerves. It didn't work.  
"Because of that lovely dream you so kindly influenced, I will not be able to sleep anytime in the near future," I spat at him, unintentionally digging my nails into the wood of the table and realizing that he had pissed me off to the point that I was speaking a little more formal than was usual for me. "I might as well do something useful such as practice my shooting. I do not want to look the fool by being a horrible shot, considering how good Integra actually is."  
I started over to the closet to pick out one if the many suits, dismissively ignoring the annoying vampire. Pulling out a beige one, I went to lay it on the bed. It was then that I realized that Alucard was still standing near the windows.  
"You're still here? I figured you were smart enough to take the hint," I said, still going about what I was doing. I went to the dresser and pulled out a pressed shirt, a sapphire blue tie, socks, and undergarments. Taking them over to the bed, I laid them down next to the suit.  
"You know," I said absently, the anger having subsided a little, "I can't really say that I understand what Ceres' problem is. She can suck peoples' blood without killing them. She doesn't even have to act like you do, if that's really what bothers her. Hell, going nucking futz is healthy sometimes." I paused, sighing.  
"I'm surprised," Alucard said after a long silence, startling me, "that a human would feel that way about being a monster." He said that last with such vehemence and sarcasm it made me inwardly cringe.  
"Why shouldn't I?" I asked him. "I feel that I am an open-minded and logical individual. Just because Ceres isn't human anymore, it doesn't mean that she has to stop being the person she was before." I stopped, smiling to myself and laughed. "Being a monster is all in the head. It's a conscious decision." But I quickly sobered.  
"Besides, its just funny to have a vampire suck on a blood-filled IV bag like a Capri Sun fruit-flavored drink," I added with a straight face.  
"I can see how that would be amusing to you." He laughed. I could feel him brushing the image of him sipping on a blood-filled Capri Sun in my mind. :You are very strange, even for a human.:  
"My friends tell me that all the time. At least I keep you thinking. It's different from just killing all the time, isn't it?"  
The vampire just looked at me, smiling.  
Well, I thought to myself. A real smile on his face for once. "And I'll take you calling me 'strange' as a complement," I told him.  
Turning around, I started towards the bathroom to see if I had soap, shampoo, a loofah, and a brush in the bathroom.  
"Are you sure that your face won't crack and fall off from doing that?" I asked him, trying hard not to laugh. "After all, we wouldn't want to ruin your good looks."  
"Good-looking?" The smile turned into a full-fanged grin. "You think I'm good-looking?"  
I turned toward the bathroom, hoping he would go away so I could have a moment's privacy. "You aren't hideous to look at," I told him absently, looking for a towel. Noticing the large bath towel near the luxuriously huge bathtub as well as the shampoo, soap, loofah, and brush, I started running the water.  
As I turned away from the tub, I realized that Alucard was standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. He was also blocking my only means of escape.  
I narrowed my eyes. "Are you going to let me take a bath in peace, or are you going to be your usual annoying self and watch me whenever you feel like it?" I asked him, slightly annoyed. "Honestly, I would prefer the former."  
"Yes," was all the answer I received.  
Walking up to him, I put myself into his personal space. We were so close that our noses were almost touching. Time to turn the tables for once. "Do you think that you can act like a decent person for once and not spy on me in any way from when I strip down for a bath to when I am done putting on my clothes again? I know it may be a bit much to ask for, but consider it a challenge." I smirked. "Do you think you're vampire enough to do that?"  
The smile lost its humor, which was replaced by something I couldn't identify. "And what would I get if I did this?" he asked me. His eyes were glittering, as if he were contemplating something I really didn't want to know anything about.  
"Say what?" I asked stupidly. "I don't think I heard you right."  
"Oh, but I think you did," Alucard said. I don't think I like where this is heading...  
"No, Alucard, you reeeeally don't want to do this," I warned him. "I play dirty."  
He bared his fangs at me. "Is that a threat?" he asked dangerously.  
My answering smile did not reach my eyes. "Think of it as a promise."  
"I was right to say that you were amusing!" He drew away at this, his eyes lighting up in a way that told me that he was excited. Really excited. "Terms?"  
"Simple. You are not to use any means at your disposal to spy on my person for the time that I undress, bathe, or dress after my bath. This includes supernatural and mundane methods."  
"If I win, I get to do with you as I wish for one full night."  
This is starting to sound like one of those porn fanfics I was reading a coupla days ago. "If I win, you have to do whatever I wish for a night." I could feel the predatorial grin spreading across my face. Just like the Cheshire Cat. I was putting my hair up in a ponytail as this was going on. When I was finished I held out my hand and said, " Deal. Let's shake on it."  
Alucard reached forward and grasped my hand caressing my palm with his index finger. "Deal."  
I gave him a strange look but didn't comment. Releasing his hand, I started to take off my top. "You'd better leave now," I sneered at him.  
He didn't move at first. The vampire kept standing there until I had finished unbuttoning my top and was about to open it when he faded into the wall. :This is going to be very amusing!: I heard in my mind.  
I just laughed, even if it was just a little nervous sounding.  
I really don't want to contemplate what would happen if he won, I thought worriedly, sobering quickly. If it involves something that's going to screw things up for Integra, I am so going to Hell.  
I finished undressing and went over to the running water to see if it was warm enough. Finding that it was, I stopped up the drain and put a little bubble bath in. After letting the water run for a minute or two and the bubbles build up to where I wanted them, I got in the comfortably large bathtub to scrub the sweat from the unexpected dream from my body... 


End file.
